Grab bag Thursday

I'm alive, just busy. But for a quick smattering of recent thoughts...

1.) I'm mad the stupid clouds last night kept me from seeing the lunar eclipse. Boo.

2.) Work this week has been a lot of catching up from missed work last week, with some files and photos still MIA. Again, computers don't like fires. However, thanks to the fire we now must keep the A/C running in our department at a cold 66 degrees constantly - even when, like today, it's 30 something outside. I can't feel my toes.

3.) Less than one week until we get out of here and go to West Virginia to see a friend and do some skiing. Woo hoo.

4.) I'm already sick of this presidential election and some states haven't even had their primaries. If this is the best our country can provide as far as leadership, I think we are all in serious trouble. I like no one and don't think I will. However, if paid the right amount...

5.) Life with no TV is about the same. Can't say I don't miss it, but am often too busy to even notice it's not on. I do however notice that I find myself wanting to watch TV's in restaurants more. Thank heaven most sports channels love to show golf. Zzzzz...

6.) The new Jason's Deli out here carries Dublin Dr Pepper in the fountain. I don't know Jason; yet, I now love Jason. Don't know what a Dublin Dr Pepper is? Click here.

7.) I need someone to point out in life's rulebook exactly where it says that after five years of marriage people can irritate the snot out of couples who don't have children. We're approaching six years of marital bliss and the last few months have seen a steady and strong increase of people asking / kidding / nagging / teasing / mentioning / hinting / discussing / talking to strangers or blunting asking about us having and/or not having children. My official, but still polite, stance is that it is absolutely no one's business but mine and my husband's. No one else gets a vote or a say. If you want my unofficial and not polite way of saying it, I leave that to your imagination.

8.) Every time someone mentions the beagle winning the dog show, I think of my childhood pet beagle, Molly, who climb up on a Corvette and scratched up the paint to which my father had to pay to fix. Bad dog.

9.) Speaking of dogs, I'm convinced my Jack Russell will indeed one day be a fine Frisbee catching pup. You just wait. Of course the training DVD will have to wait until after Lent to watch.

And that's about all for now. You may go back to what you were doing.

Life lesson #172

"Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves. It is not something we see, like a rainbow, or feel, like the heat of a fire. Happiness is something we ARE." ~John B. Sheerin, English novelist (emphasis mine)

Over the course of the past month or so, I have been in situations that left me struck and internally thinking, "Why do people look outward to find happiness?"

I am responsible for my own happiness. I can't depend on anything or anyone else for it. It is not my husband's job to make me happy. It is not my non-existent-children's job to make me happy. It is not my parents' job, my pastor's job, my boss's job, my friend's job, my dogs' jobs, or any other person on God's green earth.

My husband could by me the entire Tiffany's catalog, and my happiness would still be found solely in myself. I can not depend on things or wealth (or lack thereof) to find happiness. It's in me.

So, my question is why is it that SO MANY people drain others and demand happiness from those they claim to love?

First of all, love doesn't demand. And second, telling someone you love that they must carry the burden of your happiness is insane. I can't make anyone else happy. My actions, my thoughts, my gifts, my attention and my time can not in anyway make someone happy.

They can be happy to spend time with me. They can be happy I thought enough of them to give them a gift, they can be happy to have my undivided attention when they know I have other thing I could be doing. THEY have to find the happiness in the circumstance. I should not and can not carry the responsibility of someone else's happiness.

Happiness is not found in places, children, gifts, money, power, status, or anything found in existence. As humans, we must choose happiness. We must find the good in things, in people, in circumstances and cherish those things.

So this season, as we're telling Santa what we want for Christmas and looking at the unwrapped gifts under the tree, try thinking about happiness in a new way. Think about the happiness you can find in time together and love shared, not in gifts given or money spent.

And above all, don't look around at someone or something else and think how they make you unhappy - you make yourself unhappy. You choose to be unhappy. So why not instead choose to be happy? You owe it to yourself.

When it rains...

As many of you can tell, the past few days and weeks for me have not been my most enjoyable or will be the ones I write about in my Christmas cards of 2007.

Frankly, I feel much like poor Rover in the photo above.

But really, I thought this morning the sun would pop out just a little and things would have a nice, less stressful feel for the day.

You see, as of yesterday, about 120 of 200 pages for the magazine have been sent to the printers for pre-press and things were beginning to look up.

So this morning, I stroll into my office at the same early hour I've been coming on for over a month now and sit down at my desk to work. Nothing terribly exciting, but I was determined it would be a better day.

That's until an unidentified flying creature lands on top of my head in my hair. I try to shoe it away and in the matter of SECONDS, my back is on fire and I'm screaming. This was no fly. It was some form of stinging animal and has stung me a total of three times.

The ____-ing thing then somehow got away alive and my co-worker did kill it later, but it wasn't nearly a slow and painful enough death in my book.

Now, I know what you are thinking - "Awww, poor thing" - but let me let you in on a little known fact. In the 20-something years of my existence I never, ever EVER have been stung by a bee, wasp, hornet, etc. I have been bitten by fire ants, dogs, cats, hamsters, small children and many other assorted things - but never a stinging flying insect.

So this really does top off and already difficult month and a rough few days nicely. My back is swollen, hot and itchy and then to add insult to injury, I've got a dreaded doctor's exam this afternoon.

:::Sigh::: This just isn't my day/week/month. Can't September hurry up and get here? I've always hated the month of August, now I have even more reasons to.

Oh how it's not...

When I was a kid, I remember when I or one of my siblings would cry out, "That's not fair" in our best whiny voices - usually in response to an edict passed on by one of my parents. My father would always retaliate with the phrase "The fair is in October in Dallas."

Of course dad was talking about the Texas State Fair and how fair doesn't exist except in the county fair version of the word. (And as far as fairs went, the Texas State Fair was the best. We even got a day off of school to go way back when. It was always a great time and I have lots of fun memories going to Dallas for our annual trip. It was like a rite of passage into fall.)

But that's not what I'm really talking about today.

I'm talking about how life isn't fair.

It's not fair that I'm having to do this crappy job for crappy pay and still receive the constant complaining and unwarranted nagging of my boss and others.

It's not fair that I have yet to work for a boss that will stand up for her underlings and go to bat for us when needed.

It's not fair that so much of my job depends on other who have proved themselves in so many ways completely incompetent.

It's not fair that so much of my already crappy pay goes to the government so lazy people can get their welfare and food stamps and not work a day in their lives.

It's not fair that I get taxed on everything, including my car, just becasue I have a job instead of laying on my rear all day.

It's not fair that I can't get a good night's sleep even when I go to bed early and extremely exhausted.

It's not fair that after my husband gets up and comes back to bed he falls right asleep and I'm awake for at least two hours lying there. (It's not his fault and I'm not blaming him, I'm just jealous.)

It's not fair that I could starve myself and work out three times a day and yet still never see a single digit label on the back of my jeans.

It's not fair that I can just smell the cookie and gain 5 pounds and those freakishly skinny people eat a whole box and still remain skinny.

It's not fair morons like Michael Vick can plea bargain their way through life and still make MILLIONS while the rest of us are good law-abiding people and will never see a fraction of that.

:::SIGH::: I could go on for hours.

What I'm saying here folks is life isn't fair. Life sucks at times and we all get stressed and we all deal with crap and we all have to live with what's been dealt to us.

How we deal with that is how our character and life are defined. I'm sure right now I'm not seeming to be as refined as others and I know I sound like I'm complaining a lot lately.

But I'm doing the best with what I've been dealt right now, so if I'm disappointing you too much with depressing and bitter posts, I'm sorry. If I'm not posting enough for you, sorry again. But I'm coping with everything the best I know how without murdering my boss or snapping heads off and letting them roll out of my presence.

In fact I think I'm doing alright. I haven't kick any kittens and I haven't run over the punk kids in my neighborhood who refuse to move out of the street. I haven't threatened anyone with their lives and I haven't sent anyone ticking mail. I haven't even throw objects at anyone's head or tossed my computer out the window on unsuspecting passersby. See? I'm doing alright. I'm feeling better already.

I think I'm depressed

So today I'm sitting here doing some thinking and realize it was NINE years ago this week I was moving into Collins Dormitory at Baylor.

I'm not kidding, I almost cried at the thought. Granted it's not all nostalgic - I'm overworked, underpaid and stressed beyond capacity right now - but I was wondering if I'd cry right here at my desk.

How could it been nine years ago? My dad and I were in line at 7 a.m. waiting to haul my stuff inside my little shoebox of a room. (The above floorplan was indeed the layout of my room - except somehow it was smaller becasue I know I couldn't open my closet all the way thanks to the bed by the windows.) We were the smart ones with the dolly and everyone wanted to borrow my dad.

I never thought of it as being almost a decade ago, but it was.

It makes me miss college - living in the dorm, crazy random excursions, my sorority, eating bad cafeteria food, meeting friends for said bad cafeteria food, the football games in 100+ degree heat, the chill you get when the band plays the school song in autumn's crisp air, sitting in the library studying into the night, riding my bike around campus, Common Grounds, Lady Bears basketball, and SO much more.

It makes me want to pack up everything and go beg someone to let me move back onto campus and do it all again. I miss Baylor. I miss college. I miss less responsibility.

It tolls for thee

"No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee." ~John Donne, Meditation XVII

I'm not fond of Mondays, that's no secret. And today began like every other Monday.

The alarm went off, I snuggled down under the sheets deeper until the last possible minute I knew I could and still be on time for work. I threw together an outfit and lazily did my hair and a minimal make up application. I kissed my sweetheart goodbye and made it on into work with about 5 minutes to spare. (So I didn't time the snoozing right-on today. Oh well. I'll shoot for better timing tomorrow.)

And once I'm here, I get click and clacking in my office, pleasantly surprised things weren't as insane as I'd planned for. Then one of the staff vice presidents is making round saying we all need to go to the board room up stairs.

"Oh Crap!" I think. This is a Monday. So there's a bunch of us gathered together in the board room. Well it's more or less everyone who works here.

Now I'm thinking "Great someone's about to get canned" or "We're going to hear about how we're not making budget and we're cutting positions." You know what I'm talking about. I mean why else would we be gathering all the coporate underlings and grunts for a meeting.

And then WHAM!

The CEO's telling us one of our own won't be coming back into the office. All I can hear is "fell down the steps in her home" and "hematomas on the brain stem" and "taking her off life support."

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!? Is this some twisted and sick joke? There's no way. She was just here Friday. We were talking about purses and a sale at Walgreens for crying out loud. We just were talking about our dogs and who's bring breakfast next week and her crazy sequined jeans.

So now I'm sitting at work completely lost. Now mind you, I wasn't best friends with this lady, but she was young and vibrant and had an infectious laugh and crazy sense of style. She was someone I saw more often than I get to see my family and now she's a missing piece of my daily routine.

I don't get it. People don't die from falling down the stairs. Remember, I just fell down some here at work last fall. People fall off of roofs and tall buildings and still survive.

So things on this Monday are far from ordinary. The office is in a fog and yet we're still trudging on. There's a business meeting tonight. There's a groundbreaking tomorrow. Wednesday's the golf tournament. So when are we suppose to snap out of this fog? Thursday, at the funeral?

I knew I hated Mondays.



"What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be not forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
Grief not, rather find,
Strength in what remains behind,
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be,
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of Human suffering,
In the faith that looks through death
In years that bring philophic mind."
~Willian Wordsworth, English poet (1770 - 1850)

"Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
~Steve Jobs, US computer engineer & industrialist

Sick, sick, sick

I always knew *something* was not right with these people. But to let it get to this? Words can't capture my thoughts.

To what am I talking about? Read on...

Vegan Couple Gets Life in Prison After Baby Dies of Starvation

Wednesday, May 09, 2007
ATLANTA – A vegan couple were sentenced Wednesday to life in prison for the death of their malnourished 6-week-old baby boy, who was fed a diet largely consisting of soy milk and apple juice.

Superior Court Judge L.A. McConnell imposed the mandatory sentences on Jade Sanders, 27, and Lamont Thomas, 31. Their son, Crown Shakur, weighed just 3 1/2 pounds when he died of starvation on April 25, 2004.

The couple were found guilty May 2 of malice murder, felony murder, involuntary manslaughter and cruelty to children. A jury deliberated about seven hours before returning the guilty verdicts.

Defense lawyers said the first-time parents did the best they could while adhering to the lifestyle of vegans, who typically use no animal products. They said Sanders and Thomas did not realize the baby, who was born at home, was in danger until minutes before he died.

But prosecutors said the couple intentionally neglected their child and refused to take him to the doctor even as the baby's body wasted away.

"No matter how many times they want to say, 'We're vegans, we're vegetarians,' that's not the issue in this case," said prosecutor Chuck Boring. "The child died because he was not fed. Period."

Although the life sentences were automatic, Sanders and Thomas begged for leniency before sentencing. Sanders urged the judge to look past his "perception" of the couple.

"I loved my son — and I did not starve him," she said.

When the judge told the defendants they could ask for a new trial, Thomas hung his head low."I'm dying every day in there," he said, "and that could take three years."


And that's about all of that I can handle... So this is to give us a laugh:

Stress relief

It's funny how small our worlds can be sometimes.

I saw a link on my local newspaper's Web site today and clicked on it only to find out it was written by a lady for the Fort Worth Star Telegram, the paper my family received and still receives daily in good old Azle, Texas.

Anyway, the article was an cute little column how we can still remain happy in times of stress. And feeling a little stressed as of late, I had to click in.

The following is the column...

By CATHERINE MALLETTE, FORT WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM,

© May 8, 2007

We were in the car. My daughter and I are in the car together a lot. In a way, this is a wonderful thing, because in the car, away from the umbilical electrical cords of TVs and computers, kids often do their best communicating, opening up their true feelings.

It turns out the car is also where I open up.

"Mom," said Hadley, interrupting my soliloquy about five minutes into our ride, "so I guess it's time for your regular rant about things that are driving you crazy?"

I don't want my kids to see me as a complainer, but both Hadley and my son, Jack, had pointed out in recent weeks that I seemed to be talking a lot about how stressed-out I am.

"Welcome to my world," said Hadley. "School stresses me out every day."

Hadley is in the seventh grade, and what she said made me recall those years in my own life.

"Mom, people order us around all day. We have no freedom. We just go from class to class, and then we go home and have tons of homework, and sometimes it's something we haven't even been taught, but we have to do it anyway."

I began to remember why I was grateful to be a grown-up, but I couldn't help wondering: If Hadley's life was so constricted, why the heck was she so gosh-darn happy all the time? My daughter is the Empress of Upbeat. I mean, that same night she walked into the kitchen and announced, "I'm so perky, I can do a herky!" and executed the famous cheerleading jump, laughing.

I decided it was time I learned some lessons from Perky Hadley. That weekend I watched her behavior, mentally taking notes like a sociologist. What could I learn from her?

Here are the top five things I learned from Sunny Sensei Hadley. These, my friends, are the secrets of happiness.

1. Mini golf = therapy.
Saturday morning was cool, breezy and sunny. "Let's go mini golfing!" suggested Hadley. Because I have an older teen, I know that when any teenager says she wants to spend time with you, you should drop everything and just do it. So we did.

Almost nobody else was there. We both played our best games ever - ever! - and every stressful thought that had taken hold of my brain that week was completely forgotten.

2. Don't dwell on something that's beyond your control.

At some point that Saturday, I asked Hadley how things were going with her school newspaper, of which she is the editor. "Mom," she said, "let's not talk about it!"

As editor, Hadley is also in charge of all the production details. There was apparently some sort of problem this month -- the teacher she sent the laid-out paper to couldn't open the computer program. Everything was held up in a technological glitch. I wanted to fret about this and call her teacher and press the issue, but Sensei Hadley forbade the topic in our discussion. Her teacher would just have to figure it out, she said.

And of course, he did. No worries.

3. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

For example, speak up when you feel someone is wasting your time at an alarming rate. Hadley reluctantly agreed to accompany me to a Volvo dealership having a "no haggle" day. I told her there was just one car I wanted to look at. An hour later, we were heading to a Volkswagen dealership to compare their prices. "You owe me, Mom," Hadley sighed, and she was right. I was glad she spoke up and didn't just become resentful and fume (a coping strategy at which I excel). I devoted the rest of the afternoon to what she wanted to do, which was watch downloaded episodes of "Ugly Betty" on her laptop.

4. Embrace technology.
After we watched "Ugly Betty," Hadley saw me MapQuesting an address. What I was doing, of course, was cyber-spying on my son, seeing where his prom date lives so I'll know where he's driving to pick her up. (Yes, yes, it would be nice if I could actually just ask my son these things, but he is very guarded about sharing details of this sort of personal nature with anyone called Mom.)

"Mom," said my terribly modern daughter, "download Google Earth. It's so much more fun. You can see her house!" So we did, and then we visited Tokyo, my sister's house in Nantucket, the house where I grew up in Hadley, Mass., and a host of other places. What could be more fun?

5. Have your meltdown, and then move on.
On a recent Sunday a math homework sheet had Hadley in a tizzy. There were no examples of how to solve the problems, and her teacher hadn't provided any guidelines. The problems were like this: In how many ways can we arrange a group of four students chosen from a group of 10 students? In how many ways can we arrange eight books on a shelf?

Four scratch papers later we were no closer to any answers, and then suddenly Hadley was gone - in the bathtub, in the dark, crying.

I took a deep breath and decided to follow my frustrated sensei's Secret No. 4: Embrace technology.

I typed the entire problem into a Google search field and eventually happened upon a site that explained that what we were working on were permutations. This led to another site, and another, and finally I found a handy formula that seemed to work for most of the problems.

I called Hadley, who crawled out of the tub. It took about 15 minutes to complete the problems. We weren't sure they were right, but they were done.

Half an hour later, Hadley was herkying again in the kitchen, perky once again. Meanwhile, I was jotting down my handy list of the keys to happiness, which perhaps I should post in my car.

And that's a little bit of advice for today. I know I need to follow a few of these too. At least the whole don't dwell on something I can't control and to have my meltdown and move on. Anyone else out there feel the same?

Happiness on earth

It's sad that a national tragedy is what makes us all stop and reflect and review our lives.

Yet, I needed to reflect so I could move on.

So, I took a little time this morning to think what is it that makes things good in my life. Yes, I believe God blesses my life and makes things good. But more than that, what is it that I look forward to and makes my life worth the rest of my day.

So here's what I've come up with. And by no means is it encompassing...

50 Things That Make Me Happy (in no particular order)

1. Finding old photographs I’d forgotten about

2. Baseball games at the stadium complete with stadium food

3. Traveling – pretty much to anywhere

4. Ice cream

5. Fraggle Rock

6. When a kiss is so good that every thought leaves your mind

7. The excitement I always hear when talking to my brother Seth

8. Black & White photography

9. Catching a whiff of a fragrance that takes me back in time

10. Knowing the answer to Final Jeopardy

11. Street festivals

12. My niece and her beautiful smile

13. Reading something so good that it makes me want to give up writing

14. Reading something so good that it makes me want to keep writing

15. Jazz music

16. Being in bed with my whole crew – 2 dogs, a cat and my sweetheart

17. My grandmother’s necklace I love to wear

18. Knowing I’ve seen an estimated 38 of the 50 states

19. The Smithsonians – any of them

20. Conversations with my best friend

21. Hearing a song I haven’t heard for years and still knowing the words

22. Going to the beach in the summers

23. Live music

24. Flannel sheets

25. Being in love

26. Being loved back

27. Knowing I can tell my mom pretty much anything and not worry how she’ll take it.


28. When you go to a restaurant starving and they have bread waiting for you

29. A wonderful home-cooked meal

30. Getting a laugh, a really deep laugh, out of anyone

31. Walking along the oceanfront with the pups and sweetheart

32. When doing something I’ve dreaded turns out to be one of the best experiences of my life

33. My camera

34. Finding a new close friend

35. The thought of visiting all 7 continents

36. Skiing!!!

37. Chilly fall nights with a good warm fire

38. Knowing I am using my college degree in my career

39. When my relatives all get together and it’s insanity at Christmas

40. Oversized, fluffy warm sweatshirts

41. Owning more than one houseplant and keeping them all alive

42. Whitewater rafting with my sweetheart

43. Every moment catching up with old friends

44. Getting mail that isn’t a bill

45. A good crispy dill pickle

46. Writing things at work in green ink so people know it’s me

47. Riding along with my dad and just talking

48. Being moved so much by a song I’m brought to tears

49. The moment I realize that it is Saturday and I can go back to sleep and not have to go into work.

50. Everyone I know who reads this

And so what is it that makes you a little more happy? Can you produce your own 50?

Giving thanks...

Obviously it's Thanksgiving and it's a time to reflect on all our blessings and give thanks. But how often do we give thanks to the Lord even when it's not easy. Sure, we can thanks God when all is well, but do we still thanks him when things aren't.

It's been a rough week for my families on both sides and many of our friends. It just seems like some many people I know and love are hurting and must not be full of thanks for their circumstances.

And pardon me for getting preachy here, but really, this is more for me than any one person... but here's what God's word says on the matter - in three different versions.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-22
(New International Version)
16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

(Amplified Bible)
16Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always);
17Be unceasing in prayer [praying perseveringly];
18Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

(Contemporary English Version)
16Always be joyful 17and never stop praying. 18Whatever happens, keep thanking God because of Jesus Christ. This is what God wants you to do.

So, as we're in a pickle of a situation, or the ones we love are hurting, or as it seems our world is falling in, stop and thank God. Not for the pain or suffering, but for growing us, strengthening us and loving us despite all our faults and shortcomings. Thank him for the little things - that last breath of air you just took, the heart beating in your chest, the love of a spouse or friend, the forgiveness he's given and the ability to forgive others.

So, I'll end today's ramblings with some lyrics. I totally got these from a recent Sunday School lesson, but it's all the same. Meditate and think about how good God is...

Blessed be Your name

in the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name

when I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

And when the darkness closes in Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

when the sun's shining down on me

When the world's "all as it should be"

Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name

on the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

Did I miss anything?

In answer to the above question, I'm going to have to say no. Now, I know I'm partial. But I'm still going with no.

The full question is really "Did I miss out on anything by going to Baylor rather than going to another college - say William & Mary?"

You see, today the Hubby is teaching a MCAT course up here in Williamsburg on the campus of William & Mary. And rather staying at home snoozing away my afternoon and evening, I elected to ride with him up here and do some looking around the campus and even wander off campus into Colonial Williamsburg. (AKA Butter World for those loyal readers.) The two butt up right next to each other and really carry out the same feel throughout both.

So as I wandered around campus - which let me say isn't nearly as spread out as I thought when walking it (How about posting a campus map, people?!?) - I looked at all the older buildings and the brick sidewalks and thought to myself how neat the place looked. And really - all the red brick buildings reminded me a little of Baylor and all its red brick buildings. Granted, Baylor did come a few hundred years later, but it still red bricked like W&M.

As I made my way around, I saw many familiar sights of a college campus. A muddy pick-up game of football on the campus mall, overcrowded parking lots with the finest of cars that mommy and daddy's money could buy and the packed library with students all cramming for the big test tomorrow. There were fliers posted to nearly every open space, the buildings smelled the same musty smells and bike were chained to many a handrails and lamp posts.

Sure there are differences. For instance the trees here are turning a gorgeous collection of reds and yellows and oranges. I'm sure most the trees back in Waco are far from falling - and they don't turn any color except brown. And Baylor's neighbors are mainly run down housing, all forms of apartments and, on the far edges, warehouses. Here in Williamsburg there's a vibrant little historical area surrounding the campus. I'm sure W&M's student population is a different composition than Baylor's and most likely leans far more liberal than and Baptist background Baylor touts.

There's the pros and cons. But really, it all just boils down to the fact they're both colleges. You'll find a mixture of all kinds of people and beliefs. It's at every college across the nation that young people come to hopefully gain knowledge and wisdom while attending class, making the social rounds and find out what it is that makes them as individuals tick. What is it that they believe in and why? It's here they learn to think for themselves and create an identity unique only to themselves. They set their views of the world, their opinions and a self-certainty that most likely was lacking before. You meet with people you would never hung out with before and you hear ideas from someone else that doesn't match what you were taught. You're forced to become certain of what you believe in and maybe learn to accept new beliefs.

I miss college on so many levels. I miss my friends I made, the challenges of those upper level courses (not all, but some) and the time I had to myself. I miss going to coffee shops and sorority functions and staying up late driving to Waffle House with friends. I miss my little apartment on the edge of campus and the ease at walking where ever I needed to get to. I had the option of cooking or going to the cafeteria. I miss football games! I miss basketball games! Oh, and going to the ballpark and sitting with friends overlooking the Brazos on a sunny spring afternoon.

So no, I don't think I missed much by my choice in college. I think I probably would have had a similar experience no matter where I went. But the best thing I'm glad I didn't miss out on was that the Hubby went to Baylor too. That made the decision to go to Baylor one of the best I've made so far.

Crashing down...

What gives people the right to make you feel so badly?

My day was fine and now I'm left with hurt and tears.





I've Had Enough
B Collision
David Crowder* Band

I’ve had enough
to break me in two
To tear me apart
What am I to do?
What else can I do?

So sing me a song
Let me hum along
At the top of my lungs
I come undone
What else can I do?
What can I do?

"There are moments when Nature reveals the passion hidden beneath the careless calm of her ordinary moods--violent spring flashing white on almond-blossom through the purple clouds; a snowy, moonlit peak, with its single star, soaring up to the passionate blue; or against the flames of sunset, an old yew-tree standing dark guardian of some fiery secret." ~ John Galsworthy, The Forsyte Saga

Nature's got a lot to see. Sometime I feel in the craziness of my daily life, I miss it all.

Yesterday evening I caught a very majestic sunset. It had all the right shades of pinks and oranges and reds - but in front of it all were purplish-blue clouds that blended in with the horizon and swirled in front of the receeding sun. It really was something to see. Like the sun had been put out in spots and then decided to slip away before it ever hit the horizon. It was awing. And I really had to stop and thank God above for giving it to me.

This whole week has been very hectic and stressful for me. More than any other here in my job or my job before this. There have been moments of physical illness due to stress and overload. So the sunset last night I know had to be God's way of telling me, it's going to fade away. This week and this stress won't last forever. And for that, I'm equally as thankful.

So I'll leave you this afternoon with lyrics of yet another Crowder song. It came to me as I watched the beautiful sun set below it's unseen horizon and disappear into nothingness last night.

From golden fields
To oceans blue
From green mountain meadows
I'll think of You

From rolling hills
With misty moon
From roaring rivers
I'll think of You

And everywhere you remind me
That You are and You were
and You will Always be our God



Have a great weekend all!

Maybe Aretha had it right...

There's an intersting book out that we recently studied in our Sunday School class. It's called Love & Respect (cover at left).

In it the author poses a question: Would you rather go through life alone and unloved or be surrounded by those who love you and never have their respect? (Okay - that's not verbatim, but that's the idea...)

So, think about it... would you rather have no one around you and no love or love of people who have no respect for you?

It's not easy to think about. I mean, I wouldn't - couldn't - imagine being unloved, because I know I am. But really, could I last being unloved if it meant I still commanded the respect of those around me?

I can always love myself - just as I have self-respect. But just having only respect or only having love... not a simple decision.

So - you want to know the study's results? Not suprisingly, most men rather live alone and unloved as long as they command respect and women would rather go without respect as long as they're shown love.

Not too surprising.

Want to know what I picked? Well, I sided with the men. I'm guess I'm just not a girly-girl woman. Sure, I love being a girl (most of the time), but when it came to this - for some reason I thought more like a man.

I want that respect. And not just respect of how great I am, or how hard I work - but I want to be respected for my choices and for my morals and ethics - even if they don't match yours. I want to know even if you don't agree with me - I'm a respectable human being for standing up for what I believe in and what I choose for my life. I'm not spineless. I am very firm - even stubborn at times. (Hubby will testify...) But I need that respect.

Sure, I also need to be shown love. I guess you could say I'm double-dipping or sitting on the fence with the whole love vs. respect... But I love wholely and completely - and respect is in that love. So when someone loves me, how they show me that love often can be played out in respect.

It's an interesting concept... love and respect and the mingling of the two. They are not one in the same, but closely flow together - weaving in and out of one another. I don't suppose it's really fair to say you can have one without the other.

But think about it. What do you need? What is it you can't live without? Which choice would you make? All theoritical, of course. But what is it for you? Love? Respect?

Hmmmmm... I think I'll take a little of both with a large side of ice cream. Not that ice cream has love or respect for me or my hips. But the ice cream is an easy decision.

And while you chow down on ice cream - talk this over with your mate or your friends... it's an interesting conversation. And if you want, pick up the book. It's pretty good and offers some good insights on how to show loved ones and friends you love and/or respect them. Good hints - but alas - no ice cream. You have to get that on your own.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Or at least it was in Garden Ridge today.

And not just a couple of items... nope - half the store. All sorts of Christmas trees - including bright red ones and neon green ones - and lights and wreaths.

There were all sorts of giant holiday lawn inflatibles - including snowmen caroling, Scooby with a present and even Santa playing poker with the reindeers. Just want everyone needs...

It's Aug. 17 for crying out loud!!! I still have to get through Labor Day, Halloween, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving and a slew of birthdays between now and then.

Why is everyone so anxious to get to December?!? I know people want to think of winter and get out of the heat, but Christmas stuff out in August?!? Even this is early for most, isn't it?

Am I missing something? I know - they're merchants and out to make a buck - but even the Halloween display was shoved off to the edge of the store near clearance and it's only 2 months off...

And forget about Thanksgiving. We need not give thanks for all we're blessed with. Let's just get Christmas here fast and keep getting more, more, MORE!

I just don't get it.