Maybe Aretha had it right...

There's an intersting book out that we recently studied in our Sunday School class. It's called Love & Respect (cover at left).

In it the author poses a question: Would you rather go through life alone and unloved or be surrounded by those who love you and never have their respect? (Okay - that's not verbatim, but that's the idea...)

So, think about it... would you rather have no one around you and no love or love of people who have no respect for you?

It's not easy to think about. I mean, I wouldn't - couldn't - imagine being unloved, because I know I am. But really, could I last being unloved if it meant I still commanded the respect of those around me?

I can always love myself - just as I have self-respect. But just having only respect or only having love... not a simple decision.

So - you want to know the study's results? Not suprisingly, most men rather live alone and unloved as long as they command respect and women would rather go without respect as long as they're shown love.

Not too surprising.

Want to know what I picked? Well, I sided with the men. I'm guess I'm just not a girly-girl woman. Sure, I love being a girl (most of the time), but when it came to this - for some reason I thought more like a man.

I want that respect. And not just respect of how great I am, or how hard I work - but I want to be respected for my choices and for my morals and ethics - even if they don't match yours. I want to know even if you don't agree with me - I'm a respectable human being for standing up for what I believe in and what I choose for my life. I'm not spineless. I am very firm - even stubborn at times. (Hubby will testify...) But I need that respect.

Sure, I also need to be shown love. I guess you could say I'm double-dipping or sitting on the fence with the whole love vs. respect... But I love wholely and completely - and respect is in that love. So when someone loves me, how they show me that love often can be played out in respect.

It's an interesting concept... love and respect and the mingling of the two. They are not one in the same, but closely flow together - weaving in and out of one another. I don't suppose it's really fair to say you can have one without the other.

But think about it. What do you need? What is it you can't live without? Which choice would you make? All theoritical, of course. But what is it for you? Love? Respect?

Hmmmmm... I think I'll take a little of both with a large side of ice cream. Not that ice cream has love or respect for me or my hips. But the ice cream is an easy decision.

And while you chow down on ice cream - talk this over with your mate or your friends... it's an interesting conversation. And if you want, pick up the book. It's pretty good and offers some good insights on how to show loved ones and friends you love and/or respect them. Good hints - but alas - no ice cream. You have to get that on your own.