It tolls for thee

"No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee." ~John Donne, Meditation XVII

I'm not fond of Mondays, that's no secret. And today began like every other Monday.

The alarm went off, I snuggled down under the sheets deeper until the last possible minute I knew I could and still be on time for work. I threw together an outfit and lazily did my hair and a minimal make up application. I kissed my sweetheart goodbye and made it on into work with about 5 minutes to spare. (So I didn't time the snoozing right-on today. Oh well. I'll shoot for better timing tomorrow.)

And once I'm here, I get click and clacking in my office, pleasantly surprised things weren't as insane as I'd planned for. Then one of the staff vice presidents is making round saying we all need to go to the board room up stairs.

"Oh Crap!" I think. This is a Monday. So there's a bunch of us gathered together in the board room. Well it's more or less everyone who works here.

Now I'm thinking "Great someone's about to get canned" or "We're going to hear about how we're not making budget and we're cutting positions." You know what I'm talking about. I mean why else would we be gathering all the coporate underlings and grunts for a meeting.

And then WHAM!

The CEO's telling us one of our own won't be coming back into the office. All I can hear is "fell down the steps in her home" and "hematomas on the brain stem" and "taking her off life support."

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!? Is this some twisted and sick joke? There's no way. She was just here Friday. We were talking about purses and a sale at Walgreens for crying out loud. We just were talking about our dogs and who's bring breakfast next week and her crazy sequined jeans.

So now I'm sitting at work completely lost. Now mind you, I wasn't best friends with this lady, but she was young and vibrant and had an infectious laugh and crazy sense of style. She was someone I saw more often than I get to see my family and now she's a missing piece of my daily routine.

I don't get it. People don't die from falling down the stairs. Remember, I just fell down some here at work last fall. People fall off of roofs and tall buildings and still survive.

So things on this Monday are far from ordinary. The office is in a fog and yet we're still trudging on. There's a business meeting tonight. There's a groundbreaking tomorrow. Wednesday's the golf tournament. So when are we suppose to snap out of this fog? Thursday, at the funeral?

I knew I hated Mondays.



"What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be not forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
Grief not, rather find,
Strength in what remains behind,
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be,
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of Human suffering,
In the faith that looks through death
In years that bring philophic mind."
~Willian Wordsworth, English poet (1770 - 1850)

"Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
~Steve Jobs, US computer engineer & industrialist