Harsh Realities

"Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an over- dose of fluoride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center."
~ Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

Sometimes life isn't fair and the harshest reality in life is the truth. Here are a few "truths" I found recently on another blog.

• Something will always elude you.


• You’ll never know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop because you always bite into it.


• Your children will hate you at some point.


• High school math was pointless.


• One half of college courses are pointless. (Hello, bowling?)


• You’ll always regret who you voted for at least once.


• That cup you just drank from wasn’t yours.


• That wonderful and soul impacting moment? He/She won’t remember it.


• You shouldn’t have left it in the oven that long.


• Someone out there does want to see you fail.


• You should have said "yes."


• You should have said "no."


• Always go with your first answer, unless you know it’s wrong.


• Seconds are ok; thirds too much.


• You shouldn’t have gotten in so deep.


• You won’t fit into that dress again.


• You will inevitably become like one of your parents.


• It was him/her, not you.


• You never have a second chance to make a lasting impression.


• The joke was on you.


• You paid too much.


• That stain won’t come out.


• You can’t have it all.

And that's a dose of reality for today...