This is your brain on Homearama

So thanks to the never-ending fun of what is called Homearama (I like to think of it as Homeatrauma), my mind has been reduced to a mushy pile of goo.

Not that Homearama requires tons of thought, it just requires tons of time, energy and holding your tongue.

I really am amazed at the mind of the American public and what they think at times. Well, maybe a better to put it is what they're not thinking at times.

For instance, the concession stand at Homearama is housed in a giant tent. It's okay, but obviously a make-shift environment meant to only temporarily house this endeavor. But people will wait up to 20 minutes in line to get to the front and ask us if we're taking credit cards. First - why you'd be putting $20 of greasy carnival style food on your credit card is beyond me. But LOOK AROUND!!! We're in a tent for heavens sake. We have extension cords running everywhere just to get power enough to cook the food. We don't have dedicated lines for electricity - we won't have dedicated phone lines for a credit card machine. This isn't a 4-star restaurant people! Not to mention we didn't take that same credit card for the tickets into the event - we pointed you down the way to the ATM we had to pay someone to haul out to the site so you could still come in after not bring enough cash to get it.

And on that same concession stand thread... how about having in mind what you want to order after waiting 20+ minutes in the line. There are signs all around stating the menu. It's all in big bold lettering. And no, we don't carry whatever it is you're asking for that's not on the list. It's not there for a reason. We don't cook to cater and we didn't know 3 months ago you'd be here asking for some random item no one else wants to eat. Once again, that's why the menu's out. It's what we do have.

Next, how about not picking up every accessory an breakable thing in the house to look at. This isn't a petting zoo and it's not Wal-Mart. These items are brought in for decor, not for you to man-handle and then pocket. Those aren't freebies and they aren't souvenirs.

Also, try leaving things the way you see them. You have absolutely no reason to be moving the furniture and appliances. There is nothing behind that 300-pound freezer, sir. Just the water line for ice that you've now pulled out and caused to leak and now it's run down the wall and ruined the sheet rock and warped the floor. All so he could see this isn't a magically illusion. It's a real freezer that could freeze the real water in it if you'd just left it alone!

Common sense people! Wow. I mean, I don't think you go into your friends' homes pulling out their freezers and swiping their small accessories. I mean, I guess you could be, but they might not consider you friends for long. And before you tell me it's a home show -you're allowed to look. Yes, I'm well aware it's a home show. I know what went into making a home show and the level of work it takes to make this what it is for you to see. I know you paid money to come in and see it and look at everything. But your $10 entry fee isn't going to cover that $50 accessory you took and it's no where near the cost of the wall and flooring which will now have to be replaced. You paid to SEE the event, not steal and ruin hard work.

So, I'm climbing down off the soapbox once again and leaving you with a few comics to appreciate over the weekend. Just laugh long and loud and think of me - out working at Homearama.