I did and I still do

My sweetheart left today for a conference in Kansas City. Not the most happeneing place on God's green globe, but it's not here and that's the worst part.

I miss him. Sappy? Sure. I like sap.

So in browsing through the World Wide Web today I came across the editor's weekly column in my hometown newspaper - The Azle News. It's not NY Times, but the column tends to be good.

His last column (seen below) was about his 25th wedding anniversary.

So today since I'm being sappy and missing the man I married - I thought I'd share Bob's column with those who might never have read it.

25 years calls for a little celebrating
Thursday, July 27, 2006
by Bob Buckel

Twenty-five years prior to this writing, a pretty girl in a white dress paused, smiled, sniffled and sobbed “I do” – and our great adventure began.

That was four jobs, six houses and three kids ago. I weighed less, combed more and had few clues about most of the things that really matter in life.

That girl, who is prettier than ever, has played an active role in my education, but there are still many things I don’t understand.

At 25 I thought I knew all about love and marriage and females. Indeed, a few months after our hitchings, a buddy and I found ourselves teaching a “marriage class” at church.

All I can figure is that the veteran couples needed a good laugh. Or maybe they wanted a chance to teach us some things, only with them sitting out there in the chairs and us squirming nervously up front.

That buddy and his wife – my bride’s last non-me roommate – got hitched two weeks after we did. An oilfield roustabout then, he’s a professor now, so he has obviously learned a
little.

Me, too. For one thing, only in fear and trembling would I now presume to teach a class about marriage.

My expertise echoes that of the late George Burns who, when asked the secret to a long and successful marriage, always replied, “Marry Gracie.”

Certainly marrying the right girl has everything to do with my success. But the kind of husband or wife you become shapes and is shaped by your partner. That’s why they call it “tying the knot” – it quickly becomes a third thing, no longer two strings, but a distinct entity.

Trying to determine what’s cause and what is effect in a marriage is impossible. It’s all related.

See why I shouldn’t teach?

I guess what I’m saying is, you get out of marriage what you put in, and most of the time it rises or falls to your expectations. In most cases, your wife or husband will become the person you expect them to be.

Scary, huh?

Going in, women have by far the more difficult job. They have to be able to see potential, to look at a gangly pup barely out of puberty and envision the man he might become someday – with the right coaching.

Men are dealing with a much more finished product, just hoping not to mess up something sweet, precious and good. My bride, for example, had it all together. She was having a good time, enjoying her life. It took a lot of talking to convince her I was not a flake – notwithstanding all the evidence to the contrary – and that she was actually
miserable.

The only cure was to marry me. Finally, she bought it.

Marriage isn’t for everyone. It’s hard work and tears and fights. But it’s also an intimacy, a closeness with the soul of another person that cannot be duplicated on this earth. It’s cuddling at the end of a long, hard day or the start of one – preferably both – and looking together in love and terror at the children you’ve brought into the world.

Picking someone to be that close to requires more than smarts. It requires the guidance of a wise and loving God.

Life has humbled me a lot in the past 25 years. I know I’m not nearly as smart, or strong, or good-looking as I thought I was then. It will humble me some more, I’m sure.

But it has given me one brag: The best person I’ve ever met married me.

That calls for a little celebrating.