I'm not making this one up...

I don't normally remember details of my dreams. I remember if they were weird, but not the details.

But last night's, yeah - I remembered. It was pretty odd.

The entire plot is that I was crowned the Queen of England.

Don't know why. No one told me. Knowing I'm not English is another odd thing to consider, but at the same time - it didn't seem to matter to them.

I also was hazed in order to become the Queen. I had to drink something in order to get to wear the crown, but it wasn't wine or beer or something you'd think of in a hazing. And the weirdest part was that I remember protesting and repeatedly asking if it was sweetened with some sort of artificial sweetener (I guess I'm still allergic in my dreams too. It's either that or the fact habits carry over into dreams.). But the drink, whatever it was, was very salty. Like I was drinking ocean water or something.

Then, it gets weirder - after passing the drink test, I'm walking down the church aisle with crowds surround me and I'm carrying a CD (don't know what CD) and the book I'm to take my oath on. And it's not The Good Book - nope. It's a copy of Candace Bushnell's 'Sex and the City.' I know... totally inappropriate for a future queen, but it was what I was carrying.

So now I'm sworn in. I'm Queen.

And in my first couple of rulings as Queen I choose to force Prince Charles to get something done to those ears. Boy, cosmetic surgery has come a long way. Do something with it. No more elephant ears.

Next, since I'm all for love, Charles can keep Camilla as wife. However, she's never to be in my presence. I just don't like her and I was always a Diana fan. So stay away, Camilla.

And lastly, all the crown jewels are to be moved to my new jewel room in the palace. Those are mine baby! Besides, there's less chance they'll get stolen if I'm wearing them or have them near me. Got to have the sparklies!

So there. Less Charles, no Camilla and more jewelry for me. Not a bad deal. Hail to the Queen.