What really matters...

You know, I got thinking the other day about the upcoming 2008 presidential elections. We're already hearing so much about the "key" issues. And I'm already sick of hearing about the "key" issues.

I pretty much know where all the candidates stand on the whole Iraq issue. I know where they stand on Social Security reform and their ideas on socialized medicine, fighting terrorism and abortion. Those are all well and good. We know their sticking points and will hear over and over and over all about their voting records and views towards tax increases or tax cuts.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

I'm over it. We have 1 1/2 years to go and I know my ears will be bleeding from hearing these people say the same stupid things over and over and over again.

So I want to know what really matters. The things someone can really relate to and align their views with for a particular candidate...

So, Hillary, Obama, Mitt, Rudy and all the rest of you - answer me these few things. Be honest and use a separate sheet of paper if necessary.

1.) Do you put the toilet paper on with the paper coming over or under?

2.) Coke, Pepsi or Dr Pepper?

3.) You get an all-expenses-paid vacation to anywhere for two weeks. Where are you going?

4.) What's your favorite music?

5.) What brand of toothpaste (or denture cream) do you use? Do you squeeze from the bottom or middle?

6.) List all pets, breeds and ages.

7.) You get a $10,000 shopping spree. What store do you go to and how quickly do you spend it?

8.) What was your college major?

9.) What's your favorite charitable cause?

10.) What is your IQ level?

11.) Last time you bought your own groceries?

12.) Last time you ate fast food?

13.) Can you name the past 10 presidents in order - right now?

14.) If you never were to have gotten into politics, what would you have done for a living?

15.) Could you pass both a written and physical driving test right now?

16.) What's one question you don't know the answer to?

17.) What did you get your mother for Mother's Day?

18.) What was the last concert you attended?

19.) Can you quote a scripture from the Old Testament?

20.) What's one thing you've regretted doing in your life?

You have 15 minutes. Ready, go. And for those not running for office, what's something YOU want to know about the candidates?