For the love of grammar...

For those who don't know me, my job is editing a magazine. I do a monthly magazine and then I also edit a larger special feature issue in the fall.

Being in my line of business, I get to see people's writings and press release and so forth.

One of my biggest pet peeves is the misused quotation marks.

A wonderful stated sentence can crash to all-time lows with a stupidly place quotation mark. And proper placement isn't THAT hard. Plus, there are guides galore available for all to use.

I mean, You run spell check people. Why not check for those loose quotation marks?

Anyway, I found a Web site that jokingly points out the flaws of many signs, e-mails and statements people post. It's been a fun read.

So I thought I'd share a few. I'm leaving out the additional commentary so you can come up with your own...

Just remember that all of these were "submitted" by "ordinary" "people" like "you" and me. "Enjoy" them and have a "laugh" on me.

A homemade sign at a flea market:
all swimsuits are clean and "sanitized"

A bizarre sign at the watch repair center of a local department store:
Orders ready
in SEVEN "7"
-- days.

Sign on friend's front door:
Doorbell "out of order."
Please "knock" or "rattle" letterbox.

The sign by the deposit drawer outside a bank:
Please "Do Not" deposit cash.

A billboard for a car dealership that claimed it had been around:
since"1953"

A cylinder shaped food package labeled:
"real" bacon bits

A hand made sign on an ice machine that read:
Please don't take large buckets of "ice" from this machine.
Go to the other machine in the back.

A comment card, on which a customer wrote the following:
Laura and Joann are always so very professional and courteous "human being" type people.

Sign outside a gas station/mini-mart in Bloomington, IN:
"MILK"
$1.99

A freeway sign in Houston:
ROAD "WORK" AHEAD

Sign at a newly remodeled grocery store:
If you need help finding something, one of our "friendly" associates will be happy to help you.

Seen on a sign outside of a grocery store:
"fresh" fruit

Seen on a Doylestown, PA cigar shop. (Bonus points for the apostrophe misuse.)
SALE CIGAR'S
19 BRAND'S
BUY ONE GET ONE "FREE"

A hand-lettered sign in the window advertises:
"pork" burritos.

A local clinic advertised in the paper as follows:
"Prostate Screenings"

A law school class t-shirt with the following slogan:
Maintaining "Honor & Integrity" in the Legal Profession.

A sign on a water cooler:
This is "NOT" a drain!

From an adoption Web site (This poor girl might be waiting a while):
Jenny is of small stature for her age. She has a friendly smile, and is very expressive. She is an "adorable" child. Jenny is very friendly and outgoing. She enjoys being with people.





May these serve as a reminder to double-check and check again your letters, e-mails and writings before sending them out for all to see. Your errors might make their way into "fame."