It's a bird, it's a plane - no, it's SOAPBOX WOMAN

I know I missed yet another day. I apologize.

It's been a busy week for me and it's going to be a busy couple of weeks ahead. So, to give fair warning: I retain the right to not post on any given day of the week. That's life guys. Sorry to let you down.

And now to today's post - You missed me, I know. Deep down I can feel your sadness every time you log on to this little corner of the World Wide Web and don't see something - anything new and/or funny.

To try to empathize, allow me to share a little of what I'd miss if it wasn't there...

My sweetheart, my family and friends, my critters (husband included again for good measure. Isn't he a critter too?) my car and food.

What else? ... Air - yep, I'd miss air for sure.

And seeing how much time I spend in this frozen wasteland they consider an office - I'd miss my space heater should it too want to leave here and never come back.

My bed - if I didn't have my bed I'd be more than cranky from lack of sleep, I'd be devastated. (Full disclosure: the bed shown is a cedar post bed like mine, but not the exact bed.)

My cell phone? No, not really. While at times it's nice - I'm looking forward to a week without it come August when I go away to Jamaica.

But more importantly than what I would miss... let's talk about the things I wouldn't miss if I never heard about them or saw them again.

Pretty much any stupid wannabe singer /actress/heiress/party girl under 30 in Hollywood. I just don't care. I don't care who went where wearing such-and-such label and who they met up with and left separately from and how much they dropped (that's spent for the older folks out there) in whatever store on some ugly clothes. I don't care what they eat or don't eat and how dangerously thin they're becoming. So BritneyParisNicoleLindseyMishca and the likes - go away. Go far far away and don't come back.

I wouldn't miss some people I have to deal with for work. These aren't my co-workers. They aren't employed here where I work. They're the people I have to deal with while doing my job and frankly, they're awful to deal with and aren't worth the space they take up or the time the waste in my life. The worse is a freelance graphic artist. He/she actually was pretty decent until he/she became a parent and now it's all gone down hill. Deadlines and production schedules don't matter and the work's gone from mediocre to awful. I'd love to find someone else to contract with, but alas I've not been given the hiring/firing rights. One day.....

I wouldn't miss tailgaters, self-centered ego-maniacs or Justin Timberlake. Not that I'm a hater of Timberlake, I just wouldn't sit around wondering what's become of him.

I wouldn't miss the morons in the Wal-Mart self- checkout lanes that can't manage the simple steps of scan and bag. I know, fruits and veggies are downright rocket-science with those little sticker number labels you have to type in, but really – it’s not THAT hard. Scan it, put it in a bag and leave it there until you're done. And don't be bringing in 904,569,569.7 items through this lane either - especially when YOU CAN'T WORK IT in the first place. Save yourself, me and the poor attendant the time and frustration and go to a normal line. Leave the new-fangeled technology to people with more than 3 teeth and 15 brain cells.

I wouldn't miss hip-hop, techno, Latino, or gansta rap music. If you can call that music.

I won't miss outdated computers and software. Just like I don't miss dial-up internet. I like thing that go fast and work well. Don't slow me down - I have a ton to do.

And speaking of, I best get back to it. I want to get out of here at a decent time this afternoon.

So think amongst yourselves what you'd miss the most in your life if it weren’t around. Then be sure to tell the people on that list you love them and need them around. It'll make this LONG Thursday a little better for them.