Life lesson #172

"Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves. It is not something we see, like a rainbow, or feel, like the heat of a fire. Happiness is something we ARE." ~John B. Sheerin, English novelist (emphasis mine)

Over the course of the past month or so, I have been in situations that left me struck and internally thinking, "Why do people look outward to find happiness?"

I am responsible for my own happiness. I can't depend on anything or anyone else for it. It is not my husband's job to make me happy. It is not my non-existent-children's job to make me happy. It is not my parents' job, my pastor's job, my boss's job, my friend's job, my dogs' jobs, or any other person on God's green earth.

My husband could by me the entire Tiffany's catalog, and my happiness would still be found solely in myself. I can not depend on things or wealth (or lack thereof) to find happiness. It's in me.

So, my question is why is it that SO MANY people drain others and demand happiness from those they claim to love?

First of all, love doesn't demand. And second, telling someone you love that they must carry the burden of your happiness is insane. I can't make anyone else happy. My actions, my thoughts, my gifts, my attention and my time can not in anyway make someone happy.

They can be happy to spend time with me. They can be happy I thought enough of them to give them a gift, they can be happy to have my undivided attention when they know I have other thing I could be doing. THEY have to find the happiness in the circumstance. I should not and can not carry the responsibility of someone else's happiness.

Happiness is not found in places, children, gifts, money, power, status, or anything found in existence. As humans, we must choose happiness. We must find the good in things, in people, in circumstances and cherish those things.

So this season, as we're telling Santa what we want for Christmas and looking at the unwrapped gifts under the tree, try thinking about happiness in a new way. Think about the happiness you can find in time together and love shared, not in gifts given or money spent.

And above all, don't look around at someone or something else and think how they make you unhappy - you make yourself unhappy. You choose to be unhappy. So why not instead choose to be happy? You owe it to yourself.