Rocket science and beyond

Just for fun, here are a few things I find simple to understand, yet the people who surround me on almost a daily basis don't:

1.) Jiggling that toilet handle will, in fact, make the toilet stop running.

2.) Replacing the empty toilet paper roll with a full one is not only a good practice, but necessary unless you like drip drying or using the empty cardboard roll.

3.) Listening to your 3,982 voicemails is okay. Listening to them on speaker phone ALL THE TIME - not so much.

4.) The little yellow lines that run parallel to one another in the large concrete area outside the building aren't decorations. They aren't weird heiroglyphics or kids' artwork. They also aren't a mere suggestion. They're lines to park your monstrously huge vehicle in BETWEEN - not on or covering 3 different ones.

5.) Despite your poor personal taste in clothes, you can not make up for your ugly outfit with an even worse drenching of wretched perfume. Less is more.

6.) Pointing out others mistakes or flaws is not a recognized Olympic sport. There are no medals or awards for making other people feel only centimeters tall.

7.) :::GASP::: You, yourself, are not perfect. You too have many, MANY flaws and everyone (but yourself) can and do see them.

8.) Whining is bad. Whining constantly in a nasally voice is grounds for a severe beating and/or wrapping your entire head with duct tape.

9.) The stuff in my desk I consider mine. Not everything in my desk was purchased with company money. Helping yourself to things in my desk, behind my desk, or in my general area is poor taste. Walking in my area WHILE I'M HERE and helping yourself to whatever you deem necessary is just crappy taste and offensive.

10.) I don't have this job for fun or to just keep myself busy. I don't get paid enough as is, but asking me to do extra time and saying "it all works out in the end," is a load of BS and you know it. Not only is it grounds for beating but serious bone shattering and displacement of teeth.